The Age of Anxiety:

Aloha everyone! Today I am going to talk about anxiety and how it effects the way we perceive our realities and act in our lives. I want to talk about this today because I am feeling very anxious. Some days I feel a lot more relaxed and calm; but other days it feels as though my heart will explode by how fast it is beating, and my mind runs and runs on all of the things that “need to get done” in the day. This causes me to run around with my head cut off; trying accomplish my mental to-do list. Usually by the end of the day I have no recollection what really occurred…I realize that I did not really enjoy it because I was not taking in the subtle moment of the day. I was not noticing my surroundings or my inner world because I was too busy feeding into my monkey mind. I know that in the modern world, anxiety is something that effects a lot of us and I think that it is important to take some time to talk about it.

So here we go! What is anxiety? In my perspective (again, we all have own unique ways of thinking based upon our experiences) anxiety happens when we are not aligned with the present; with what is happening right in front of our eyes. It is when I am on the yoga mat practicing various asanas, but I am thinking about what I need to get a the grocery store. It is when I am lying in bed trying to sleep, but all I can think about is how I will pay next month’s rent. When this happens, my mind tries to come up with a million ideas to solve it quickly! (We humans HATE feeling uncomfortable). The mind likes to try to solve “problems” right away; even if we are not able to presently. Most of the time these so called “problems” are actually not even really problems at all! They are just something that we make up in our head. It is like thinking about your plane going down and crashing as you think about your flight next week during a work meeting. You heart beats fest, and maybe you feel a bit queasy inside. Anxiety is thinking about something that is not actually occurring in our lives in the now. It goes hand in hand with fear of course.

I feel that the media also causes more anxiety in us. We become anxious when we are constantly scrolling through instagram and wondering why our lives are not as perfect as someone else’s and then we think, “what am I doing wrong?” “Maybe my life is not that great as that persons” “Maybe I should do this or that and I will be happier.” We are constantly bombarded with these messages everyday and we become disconnected with ourselves. We feel off-balance, lost, and confused. I know I have been in this position many times and will continue to do be. It is what I can do to ease it.

What can we do? Well, I can’t speak for everyone, because we are all different and what I might do may not work for you. But, I will talk about things I do to help with my anxiety as well as some other ideas I have learned about.

First, meditation! I will continue to talk about it and list it in every post probably haha, but it really has helped me so much to connect with my inner self and explore my thoughts and emotions. Second, journaling. I have a billion thoughts in my head all vying for my attention. Sometimes I think that one of these thoughts is a big problem that needs attending to right away; however when I write it out, usually it is not as monumental as I had previously thought. Third is exercise! This can be anything you want, but I firmly believe that exercising helps to move energy around. A lot of stuck energy usually leads to illness in one form or another. Four: talking about it! Talking about our anxiety and they way we are feeling can help us to face it head-on instead of feeling shame about it. I will sometimes talk to friends, family members, and of course my therapist! (this has been difficult to do). If you do not feel comfortable talking with someone you know, I recommend a therapist. They are even online now. Lastly, do something that puts you in a flow state. By this I mean that “thing” you do where time seems to cease to exist. This means you are in flow with the universe. You are normally not thinking about your past or future but are immersed in what is happening now. For me this is usually writing poetry.

There are always things that we think “need” to be done. When this happens to us we can choose to engage with our thoughts or we can take a step back and breathe and really take into account how we are feeling. We can choose to observe ourselves and ask if we really need to listen to what our mind is saying to us. Sometimes I like to say to my thoughts, “thanks for telling me this, but I do not need to do or think about this right now” and I let it be on its way. Thoughts do not stay forever and we can always change them into something that aligns better with our being.

I could write more, but this is a lot so I will save it for another day. Feel free to message, comment, share, etc! Peace earthlings!!! Have a great week and life.

Following your heart can be the hardest thing to do:

Hi everyone!!

Thank you all for being so patient as I haven’t written in almost a month. I have been busy with yoga, visiting my family, and also taking care of myself. But I am back! Hope you have all been well:) This week I am going to talk about following your heart/staying true to yourself. This may sound easy but is actually very hard for most of us to do. Our heart knows deep down what we truly need, what it is in this life that we are supposed to do. But most of us forget to listen or choose not to listen to it.

All of the answers that we continuously search outward for such as in other people, material objects, teachers, books, technology, etc. lie within our hearts. I have spoken about this before and I will always continue to do so because this is very important. A lot of us listen to the voice in our heads which is mostly run by the ego and not the truth within our souls. This voice in our heads can sound accurate and like it is coming from us, but if we actually take some time to listen to what it is saying and think about where it is coming from, we can see that it is not actually us and only a fabrication that the mind has created!

One way to quiet this voice and begin to listen to the heart is through meditation. Just taking a few minutes out of the day for self-study or svadhyaya can tell you a lot about what you are actually feeling. Taking a few deep breaths and centering yourself. Feeling the way your body reacts to certain thoughts, words, outside stimulants can also tell you a lot about what may or may not be good for you. We are all energies and everything around us are also energies; our bodies know the difference between positive and negative energies and vibrations, its just about listening and acknowledging this. Pretty cool, ya?!

Once we can center ourselves and come back to our bodies instead of hanging up in the clouded minds inside our heads we can begin to feel the strong sensations within our hearts. The quiet voice that lives within and knows what you truly need, who you truly are. All we have to do is listen. You can also ask your heart how it is feeling (internally or externally, it doesn’t really matter). All that matters is that you acknowledge and feel what this voice is trying to tell you. You may not like what it has to say because sometimes the truth isn’t what our ego wants to hear! The truth can make us uncomfortable and fearful but these feelings are not us, just another layer of the ego that we must shed. When we can breath and let go of this fear that we may feel from learning the truth; this is when we truly begin to step into our power.

Following your heart can be tricky and at times difficult. Its not all romance and jetting off on some whimsical adventure like they show in the movies (thank you commercial movie industry). Most of the time it is diving into your biggest fears of letting other people down (this is also only an illusion), sacrificing relationships, leaping into the unknown without knowing how it will all work out. Yes it can be scary at the time, but the best things in this life usually are. To get where I am now I had to stop listening to the opinions of others, sell all of my stuff, say goodbye to people I loved not knowing if and when I would ever see them again, quit my jobs, and fly to the Hawaiian Islands not really knowing why exactly I was going there in the first place. I didn’t know what I would find, just that my heart wanted me to go! If I didn’t listen to it, I knew I would continue to be unhappy. And yes, people said I was crazy to not get a “real job”, save money, live out of two backpacks, and move to an island where I knew no one. But it was the best decision I ever made!

We are all on different journeys and no one can say what is right for you, but you!! No one knows how to live your life better than you. So stop listening to the opinions of others, and start listening to your heart. Listen to this, go inward, breathe deeply. It will never lead you astray. Yes the road can be tough, nothing worthwhile is ever easy. It’s all about remembering to be grateful for the present moment, and everything in-between. We are all only in this human experience for a short while, so we might as well do what we actually are meant to do, instead of what we “think” we should do.

I am at a point in my journey again where my heart calls me to do something that I don’t necessarily want to do, but I will do it anyway, even if it makes me fearful and uncomfortable. I am not sure where I will land, but I trust that it is exactly where I need to be.

Mahalo to all you lovely beings. Feel free to message and comment!

Rylee

Meditation 101:

Hello folks!! Happy new year/vision year/weekend/journey. Whatever you want to call this time period or moment that you are currently in, I hope that it is full of joy and love. And if it is not, that is perfectly fine too. There is no light without darkness, no ying without the yang, no moon without the sun! Ah, the sweet balance of it all!

Today I want to talk a bit about meditation. This is something that has come up a lot in my journey and something that I believe started my spiritual awakening. It is a very important practice to me, something that has allowed me to dive into the deeper parts myself so that I can notice what serves me/doesn’t serve me. It has also helped me to feel more connected everything, as well as the ability to quiet the fluctuations of my mind so that I may be more present in the now! Because all we really have in this life is the now, a string of moments upon moments that create one big moment! The moment that is our life. Whoo!!

So what is meditation? To me, it is focusing the mind’s awareness on one specific point. It is concentrating on one thing within the mind so that the voices in your head may grow a bit quieter, may flow in and then out instead of staying and creating false stories/images/illusions/etc. It is taking time out of the day to really assess how you are feeling. How is your breath? Is it shallow and in your chest area? (You may be feeling anxious). Or is it more elongated and flowing down to your navel? (More relaxed). Breath can tell you a lot about how you are feeling!

This is also a time to simply notice what is coming up, without judgement! This is a big one. We don’t need any more judgment in our lives, we certainly get enough of that from society. Notice these thoughts and simply study them. Where are they coming from? What are they telling you? Is this true for you? Is this how you actually feel? A lot of the time our thoughts are telling us things that aren’t actually relevant. If we listen to them too much, if we believe everything that they say, it can make us go crazy, feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. Feeling anxious is a big one for me, and knowing that my thoughts are NOT ME, but simply my ego, I can decide whether I want to listen to them, or let them go.

By meditating we gain a bit more control over our minds, our breath, our emotions. When we do this, it easier to relax into the present moment, release attachments to the stories we tell ourselves, and simply just be! We don’t need to go anywhere, be anything, we already ARE. Right now!

Meditating also doesn’t have to be sitting on some rock staring off into space for hours (though I enjoy this sometimes). It can be while you’re chopping vegetables, walking down the street, driving your car, talking to your neighbor. If you can focus your mind on what is right in front of you, you are meditating! One trick I like to use is concentrating on my breath while I do anything, this helps to bring me out of my head and into presence. You can also try guided meditations. There are some cool ones on YouTube, Gaia, Spotify, pretty much anywhere on the web! This may be good for newbies if you don’t know where to start:)

Again, its all trial and error. What works for you, may work completely different for another. Some days you may feel totally focused and zen, other days you may feel out of control and restless. All is completely ok! This is a life-long, probably multi-life-long practice! There are so many different types of meditation techniques and practices, finding the right one that works for your life at the present moment is so important! And like anything, your meditation practice may change and look different with the ebb and flow of life. As long as you make time for yourself and your practice, you are doing your best with where you are at and what you’ve got!

You also don’t need much time to meditate, even 5-10 minutes a day is so helpful! Doing this just once everyday can seriously change your inner world in terms of how you perceive your reality. It is important to remember to keep at it, a lot of times our society wants the answer or fix right now! But our meditation practice asks us to be patient; the best things in life are worth waiting for.

I could say so much more about this topic, and I most likely will in another post! This is what I feel is important when first starting a meditation practice. As always, feel free to comment or message me with any questions or tips of your own!

Mahalo,

Rylee

What is the ego?

I’ve been mentioning the ego so much in my other posts that I thought I should speak a few words about what it actually is! This is what it means to ME, as in the lens in which I see this term through. Interpret how you will, it’s all up to you after all!! This is where true freedom lies.

So…the EGO. We all have one; yes even gurus and enlightened ones too. It’s about first recognizing that you have one and then going from there. The ego is that voice in your head. You know what one that is ALWAYS talking? Literally always, it never shuts up! Commenting about everything, making judgements about people, things, feelings, experiences. It labels, constructs, tells stories, and creates illusions within the mind that don’t actually exist.

The ego tries to protect itself, tries to have control, it really LOVES control. Over situations, others, the way we perceive certain situations, the way we act. Everything. It does this because it wants more, it always wants and wants and wants and is never satisfied. This is why a lot of us never feel happy when we are searching for things that are outside of ourselves. For when we are searching out, it is almost always the ego calling the shots, the ego at the wheel. And sometimes if you let it, it will drive you to some crazy and dark places. Ever wonder why you freak out over something so small? Why you let “the little things get to you?” Why something about someone else makes you upset? This is all ego.

The ego lives on fear, feeds on fear. This is also why a lot of the things we don’t like about others is actually the things we dislike about ourselves. You can’t dislike something about someone unless you dislike it about yourself. This scares us. It scares us because it sheds a light on the things that we try to hide. But its important to shine this light and not turn away; face these fears and not listen to that voice inside your head. Acknowledge it and then let it go. Let it flow through you like the wind. We are all energy and energy is meant to flow, not remain stuck and stagnant within. So breathe and let it go.

After you recognize this voice inside your head. Begin to notice. What is it saying to you? What kind of language is it using? What is it’s tone like? How does it make you feel? Stressed, anxious, joyful, sad? When you experience these emotions what does this voice do with them? Does it want you to suppress them or to let them out? Whatever you notice happening within, always ask yourself why? Why am I feeling this way? Where is this feeling coming from? Why is it coming from there? Just contemplate and notice. Try to do this without judging yourself.

Perhaps begin to notice the stories you tell yourself. This is a big one! Are they true for you at this time in your existence? Why do you believe them? What do you believe about these stories? If they don’t resonate with you, you can always stop and re-write. AT ANY TIME! You can be who you want in each minute of each day. If you don’t like who you are, what you’re doing, then change the story of yourself. When you do this, you will begin to see your outside world changing as well.

Being present is another way to help calm the waves the ego makes in your mind. There is a saying I like to use, “where awareness goes energy flows”. So, what you are really concentrating on is where most of your effort and energy will go. Make sure it is towards things that will help you to become the highest version of yourself you want to be/already are. The ego really likes to take stories and spin them out of control, adding on layer and layers to these stories that are not true. Notice this and just let it go. As you move through your day, try focusing your awareness on one thing at a time. If your mind wanders (and it will) simply bring it back to what you were doing. Eventually the voice will start to quiet bit by bit, and soon you won’t notice it as much. You may find yourself able to think before you act, stay calmer in situations where you once would’ve lost control, and experience more inner peace instead of living in fear and negative emotions.

The ego will try to hold on. It doesn’t want to let go of its control and its power. It lives in fear, so it will do everything it can to keep it, laying traps for us to get stuck in. This is ok! It’s good to remember we are all on a journey of self-discovery. There is no time-clock. We have infinite amounts of time. Hell, it doesn’t even exist! Just another creation of the mind. So don’t worry, its all a process and know that it will take time and just breathe, relax, and always remember not to be so hard on yourself.

At the end of the day, your thoughts are not you. Just another aspect of the mind. You don’t have to listen to that voice inside your head. You have the ability to tell it no, to simply let your thoughts drift in and out and not allow them to attach themselves to your inner world. For you are the ruler of your inner world, not the slave of your mind.

I hope this helps shed a bit more light on the ego, consciousness, inner world, etc. Ego is one that will come up a lot on this site so if you have any questions or comments feel free to comment or message me!

Peace,

Rylee