Boundaries!!

Hey everyone,

I’ve been taking a hiatus from the blog for a while. I honestly didn’t feel like writing anything and I don’t believe in doing some just for the sake of doing it. However, now I am feeling the pull to write and share again, so here I go! Thank you all for understanding the ebb and flow. Today I am writing about boundaries. Honoring them for ourselves as well as respecting other’s and the boundaries that they have for themselves.

This topic has been very relevant in my life lately. Setting boundaries has been a hard thing for me to do throughout my life. Sticking to them has been even more difficult for me to do. I don’t like making other people feel bad or uncomfortable, but I’ve noticed that when I put others wants and needs in front of my own it usually ends in me feeling drained emotionally and physically. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t put others in front of ourselves sometimes, I think it is great doing things for others! But it’s when we are constantly putting others in front of ourselves that the situation can turn sour.

Not having boundaries can lead to us feeling bad about ourselves and our ability to stand up for what we really want in life. Sometimes it is good to say no! To take time away to focus on self-care, following our dreams, or even dreaming about what we want. But if we are constantly saying yes to things we know we don’t want, just because we are worried about what others may think, we take away from ourselves. Whether this be energy, moments, time alone, hobbies, etc.

Society likes to tells us that we are selfish if we put ourselves first instead of others, but we are actually being selfish if we let others dictate how we want to live our lives. Selfish in a way that we are not truly our best selves when we don’t follow the boundaries we have set up for ourselves. If we don’t feel our best inside; if we feel depleted energetically and emotionally within; than this will for sure show up in what we project to our outside world.

It can be difficult to set boundaries because we have fears about missing out on certain events, fears about what others will think of us, etc. But when we do this others will know what to expect of us. They will learn to respect us because we respect ourselves and our needs. If you don’t respect what you really need and want, how can you expect others to? This is a hard lesson that I had to learn!

Remembering to respect the boundaries that others have set for themselves is an important aspect as well. A lot of people put their happiness in others, again this all comes back to attachments! Ah, everything really is connected! But something I’ve been learning also recently is that real love means letting someone live their life how THEY want to, and not how we think they should. If they want to do something alone, take up a new hobby, meditate every morning, then we should let them do what they would like! And if that doesn’t include us, then we have to accept that. None of us belong to anyone, none of us own anything, and when we act like we do, it can sometimes feel suffocating for ourselves and for others.

Setting boundaries may look like choosing to stay home and practice yoga instead of going out with friends or working on your latest project instead of binge-watching a show with your roommates. Sometimes the latter is great, but again it all comes back to balance. It all comes back to listening to ourselves, to the inner voice. It’s easy to get swept up in our outer world; in our friends, family, jobs, affiliations. It’s easy to get lost and forget what it is we actually long to do in this life, who we are/who we would like to be. But it’s important to remember that we are all human, and we all stumble, but eventually we all pick ourselves up again and have the opportunity to grow and learn from what life throws at us!

Its all a crazy journey, yet exciting! Feel free to message me or comment. Hope you all are dong well out there!

Peace humans,

Rylee

Life is a balance:

Hiiiiiiii homies!!! When thinking of what topic to write about today, balance was the first thing that popped into my mind. Balance has been a very important aspect in my life thus far and also has helped guide and align me on my spiritual path. Though balance is much needed in all of our lives, this is something that is often forgotten or put on the back-burner.

Why is balance important? Balance is important because it helps us keep and contain the right amount of energy we need to be our highest selves in all aspects of our lives. When we spend or give too much of our energy to just one area of our lives, other parts suffer. This can lead to stress, anxiety, relational problems, self-loathing, etc. When our outside world is out of balance, you can be sure our inner world is out of wack as well! We may feel confused, chronically tired, or feel like we are stuck and moving nowhere towards our goals and dreams.

A lot of us are so overwhelmed now-a-days with everything in our lives: whether this be our job, friends, hobbies, dreams, family, and now social media; which adds on another layer to our balance enigma. We are all so busy trying to do everything, be everything, check all the boxes off on our to-do lists; we forget the point of all of this busyness: to LIVE! To simply be alive and to just BE, is all we really need to do, all we really need to accomplish. Finding balance can help us find presence which helps us to be in the present moment, without worrying about texts we need to answer, work that needs to be done, a run that needs to be completed, etc.

All you need to do is first listen. I have said this a few times and I will say it many more times on this blog. Simply listen to your body, your mind, your heart, your breath. These will all tell you if you’re out of balance, out of synch with life. And if you’re questioning if you’re out of balance, you most likely are out of balance. For we know ourselves better than anyone, sometimes it’s just facing the hard truth that maybe some aspects of our lives needs to change. Maybe you need to work less, and rest more. Maybe its less drug use and more time for your hobbies or working towards your dreams. Maybe its less Netflix and more hikes with your dog or friends! Maybe its eating more veggies and fruits instead of processed foods, skipping your workout and sleeping a few hours more. These are a few examples of how to bring yourself into balance! Once you feel as though you are able to walk through your life on solid ground its totally ok to have a beer, eat that donut, watch that show on netflix, run that half-marathon!

Sometimes we get so caught up in doing the best things for ourselves, that we become too attached to a version of ourselves that isn’t exactly the best version we can be. I’m talking about the one that is able to relax, flow through life with more ease, appreciate their life as well as others within their lives. For we are all humans, and none of us are perfect (in the normal sense that most people think of). Honestly, we’re all perfect right now, as is. I’m perfect as I type out this post, you’re perfect as you’re reading this post, my roommate sitting to the left is perfect as he strums his guitar! The good news is, you’re exactly how you’re supposed to be at this moment, exactly where you’re supposed to be at this moment. This doesn’t mean that you can’t strive to be better, you can do this everyday! But it means being able to appreciate what you may consider a “mistake” or a “flaw”, it means moving through the flow of life with less effort and simply enjoying the ride. Finding balance helps us to enjoy the simple moments. These moments are what truly make this world beautiful.

I am grateful for you all! And know that you who is reading this is an amazing and beautiful human and cosmic being RIGHT NOW at this minute! Yes you!! I hope this article helps to shed a bit more light onto the balance situation, as always feel free to message me on my email or social media pages!

Mahalo and namaste,

Rylee